So often, total strangers have pegged me as a knowledgeable, go-to person that I set up this label here on Building Common Ground to describe these experiences. One common factor: I have most often not been in a mood to talk when people appproached me. Yet I've been out there and accessible.
To get people to come to you, it sometimes helps not to show how much you want them. It sounds like a paradox, but it's true: people often are much more interested in you when they're not sure whether you're interested in them. If you seem really eager for them, they wonder if you're desperate.
And being desperate drives people away, because - fairly or unfairly - they wonder what you may know about yourself...and what other people may know about you...that they don't know (and would rather not find out the hard way). Is there a reason why people don't see value in you?
Basically, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Get (looking) busy if you want to get busy!