Constructive Confrontation

One fine day recently on the Metro (DC area commuter train/subway) :

Young "man" and young woman kissing. He seems just a bit more eager than she is, judging from her facial expression.

Young male puts his hand partially around young woman's throat.

I look at them - especially the male - pointedly and ask "Is there a problem?"

It's likely that he's trying to hurt or coerce her - but not a sure thing. All I know is what I've seen in the last couple of minutes. So I don't make accusations I can't prove.

What I'm doing is letting him know that someone else - who may be willing and able to intervene in some way - is watching, and doesn't necessarily approve.

Young man removes his hand from her throat. They begin kissing again, and she doesn't (seem to) feel anxious any more. Things seem better, at least until I get off the train.

You might face such a situation yourself. Do you want to have to choose between standing by as someone's getting hurt and overreacting? Check out this excellent piece by a world-renowned self-defense expert.

On Alert!

Here's another example of why we need to be alert to how our actions could reasonably look to others. (Especially if you're male and the other person is female.)

Just because we're only intending to flirt or compliment someone, doesn't mean she's not going to worry about something much, much worse.

(Btw, the language at this blog is not entirely SFW.)

What's Our Most Valuable Asset?

If someone asked you what your - or anyone's - most valuable assets are, how would you respond? Likely by saying "People, of course!" And you'd have a point.

Check out the implications:

This Dilbert cartoon strongly implies that a boss who makes decisions "based on what [he knows] about the people involved," as the cartoon has the boss character put it, is silly. What could be more important than the technical details?

The skills, character and collaborative ability of the people, that's what. As the boss observes, Dilbert is pale and poorly dressed - signals that he's not socially adept and thus may have a hard time cooperating with others. He also apparently doesn't understand others enough to know what impresses them - or he just doesn't care how others feel. And possibly he doesn't even have good enough attention to detail. Those issues can sink any project no matter what the numbers look like.

Have you gotten a bank loan? Perhaps you've noticed that the bankers don't just look at the data you send in like your income, current debts, projected profits (for a business loan), etc...they like to meet with you. That gives them an idea of who you are as a person. And that's an important way for them to know how likely they'll get their money back as agreed.

We ourselves - not our computers, nor our money, nor even our knowledge - are our most important asset. And for that reason, anyone who's considering starting or keeping any kind of relationship with us is most concerned with our attitude, our skill at dealing with the unexpected...and our ability to link up with others. They're what make us unique.

Those things, not our diplomas, technical skills or numbers, will make or break us.

Lucky 13!

It's been 13 years now since we met that day at George Mason University, first briefly in the vending machine room and then the nearby computer lab. (At our wedding, her brother paid tribute to said lab.)

13 years of growing pains, molding ourselves to fit each other, each learning what makes the other tick.

13 years of happiness, heartache, love, tears and more than a little screaming. =|8-}

May there be many more.

I love you, Emily!

What Will They Think Of Next?

Hello,

You may recall that sometime back I mused on the possibility that people could pre-write text messages to send to their loved ones and others in case their plane was about to crash or a similar disaster was about to strike.

Well, thanks to Occupy Wall Street, we've now got an Android app which, while intended for a slightly different scenario, should do the job here.

What next?

Equal Rights Center Making Sense of the Autism Spectrum + Paid Internships for Aspies

My guest post for the Equal Rights Center in Washington, DC, "Making Sense of the Autism Spectrum," is now available.

Also, the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and Freddie Mac are joining forces to provide paid internships for Aspies with strong technical skills! (H/T: Reda Sheinberg, Montgomery County Transitioning Adults)

Have a Great Time at the Barbershop!