Friday, January 15, 2010

Another One Who Tells It Like It Is

Rory Miller's also done some thinking about how to stay safe. And this guy knows what he's talking about.

He's putting out another book this year, on self-defense - not so much karate-chopping the other guy into submission as doing whatever it takes to keep yourself and your loved ones safe. As he makes clear, there's one thing even better than presence of mind in a fight: Absence of body.

It's very hard to be beaten, robbed, kidnapped, raped or murdered if you're not there. It's also very hard to get hurt in a fight if none starts. (On the other hand, if one does start...win or lose the odds are you will get hurt, maybe badly.)

Avoiding violence boils down to two things: recognizing threats in time to move away, and not provoking people into becoming threats to you. Many people - but especially Aspies - can use some help in both these areas.

Mr. Miller has posted a nuts-and-bolts excerpt of his forthcoming book, covering some ways of recognizing and staying out of trouble. It includes:

When you are or believe yourself to be on dangerous and alien ground, keep your mouth shut. This is hard for some people. I can’t help but think that if you don’t have the common sense to keep your mouth shut, or you believe that your opinions and insight are so precious that everyone wants to hear them, that you probably will suck at avoiding conflict and shouldn’t breed anyway.

[...]

I don’t give a damn about your self-esteem. The purpose of this book is to give you a few hints on staying alive or, if you teach self-defense, some critical information you can pass on to your students. The world is not about you. Everything that you know about right and wrong is context dependent. If you go to a place that is outside your context and demand that they treat you by your rules in their world, not only might you get killed, but you will be killed for being a whiny child demanding special treatment. If this is you, grow the hell up.

You want PC? Here you go: Practical Conflict-avoidance.

What do you think?

2 comments:

Corrie Howe said...

I agree, but then I'm not an Aspie. I'm trying to teach my son about these things. Fortunately,he's very high functioning and has some self-control. I don't know that all Aspies do.

Vail said...

I definitely agree. Of course, it's true for non-humans as well. After my son recovered from being attacked by a dog, we had a good discussion on canine safety. The conclusion?: It is decidedly unsafe whenever (a) it is an unknown dog, OR (b) it is a known dog in an unknown context.

Context is everything. And nobody has all of it.

(--Vail)